


Story 2 chapter 2: You have to stop that

by uddelhexe



Series: Happy.Never.Afters [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Asshole Empty, Castiel's deal with the empty, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fuck you Empty, Hurt/Comfort, I came out darker than anticipated, I'm confusing tags in the chapters-sorry, Implied Destiel - Freeform, Poor Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Team Free Will 2.0, i am sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-10 16:24:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17429396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uddelhexe/pseuds/uddelhexe
Summary: Burgers of doom.





	Story 2 chapter 2: You have to stop that

**Author's Note:**

> Second part of the second short story of the  
> stories about Castiel and his Deal with the empty.  
> There will be a third one...that will be the worst.

“And then she looked me in the eyes and smiled. You think this is a good sign?”

“Hmm…I might not be the best source to judge human interaction, but I think that might be a good sign. Females do not actively talk to you and smile about something that wasn’t actually funny, if they don’t like you at least a bit.”

Jack watched Castiel in shock with wide eyes and actually there was some red color creeping into his ears.

“You think that wasn’t funny?”

_Oh…_

Castiel hadn’t want to make Jack feel uncomfortable. He tried to smile his best father smile and reached for Jack’s shoulder with his hand. He gripped him with a firm and hopefully supporting hold and sighed: “ I am not the best Judge for that either, Son. But you know what? If it was actually not funny…it is an even better sign that the girl did laugh at it anyway, isn’t it?”

He hoped it was.

Jack began to grin this wide and happy smile that Castiel could watch for all eternity. It was so good to see the boy smile. To see him being happy, have encounters with others humans…Females even and… and live a good life for once. To be able to witness this was worth every sacrifice in the world. What was his own life compared to the all the great things and feelings Jack now would be able to experience in a hopefully long and happy life?

A rustle at the bunkers door made them glance up the stairs and watch Sam and Dean coming down the entrance. Both of them stuffed with paper bags of groceries and also some promising looking ones from the burger in close to the bunker.

“Food delivery!” Dean called happily with a smirk plastered on his pretty, freckled face . Also something Castiel very much enjoyed to look at. Dean had this little wrinkles around his eyes that had appeared over the years and made him look a bite more mischievous then in his younger years. Castiel remembered seeing some gray strays coming through on his head too. But he knew that Dean liked to think of himself as the young strong man he used to be and so nobody talked to him about this endearing signs of age that suited him so well. Castiel had encountered that humans mostly tended not to speak about the signs of age for that also were signs of their nearing ends and he thought that it made them be anxious sometimes. Even more so when they still were younger and mostly healthy and death something so far away.

Maybe this fear was also caused by the fact that they didn’t knew for sure what awaited them after their death. Sometimes Castiel thought that it might be a comfort for the human soul of they would know how heaven was like and that there was nothing to fear about it.

On the other hand…to know what awaited him after his death didn’t comfort himself very much. On the contrary…it made him anxious to know that there was nothing waiting for him…literally. Nothing but a pissed entity that enjoyed seeing him suffer. He sometimes was so much afraid of what would happen to him when he had to go back there…and what the empty might likely do with him for all of eternity…he was close to a panic attack in the middle of the day. But he couldn’t loose it. He couldn’t show the others how much afraid he was of all of this. That all that calmness he showed on the outside was nothing but a farce to give solace to those he loved the most. That deep inside he wanted nothing more than hide in a dark corner so the Empty never would find him.

But that was wishful thinking. One day it would come for him. One way or another…and it would take him to that place of nothingness…and would have its way with him. And there was nothing he could to do about it. There was not hope for him.

But he had to push these dark thoughts away. He couldn’t allow the Empty to take away everything from him when he still was alive. When there still was so much to love and enjoy.  Like the wonderful smell that filled the bunker because Dean had begun to unpack the food in the middle of the war table and the happy and carefree faces that surrounded him.

 “Rabbit food for the Samsquatch…some fries and Nuggets for Nougat boy…,” Dean began.

“Hey! Stop calling me that, Dean!” Jack laughed halfhearted while he took his food. Sam also chuckled while unpacking his salad.

“And for the real men like Cas and me: Burgers. Double cheese, double everything!”

Castiel grabbed for his burger and opened the box. Yes…that was truly a part of heaven on earth. Though most of the food he consumed, even if he technically didn’t have to eat being nearly at full power, minus the energy from the heavenly host, he still loved eating burgers. Maybe it was the texture or the very vivid memory of the taste that still was in him…he didn’t know.

But when he took his first bite he closed his eyes and hummed in pleasure.

He savored the experience and loved every second chewing his first bite. He didn’t bother to open his eyes for his second bite only to feel a tuck on his hand and all of a sudden there was not burger in his hand.

_What the fuck?_

Everybody at the table had stopped eating and all of them looked at Dean in surprised. The older hunters eyes were wide and he held Castiel’s burger in his hand breathing hard.

He nearly looked frightened. After some strange seconds Sam was the first to speak:

“Dean? What’s wrong?”

“Would you mind to give me back my food?”

Dean obviously did mind and tuck the burger closer to himself not showing any intention in giving it back.

“You don’t need to eat anyway. So why bother your digestion with this heavy stuff? I mean...you hate  everything about toilets don’t you? So why giving in this pleasure just to visit the bathroom hours later and have a bad time.”

Castiel looked at Dean dump folded.  Then he frowned at the corridor and back at Dean.

“What are you talking about?”

_Seriously…what was he talking about?_

“You know man. What goes in has to come out. You always told us how much you hated body functions. I’m doing you a favor here.”

It clicked and Castiel watched Dean suspiciously with squinted eyes.

“I’m at full power, well sort of, and do not digest anything. My grace consumes everything and transforms it into energy to keep my body running. How do you think I once drank a whole liquor store if that all had been in my alimentary tract? That was hundreds of liters I consumed. And when we fought famine I ate about two hundred burgers only a few hours. What do you think happened to that mass of food? You can’t be serious.”

Dean glared at Castiel somewhat guilty and then he frowned. Sam was the only one sighing and looking as if he knew what was going on.

“Dean?” Castiel asked again with a far more gently tone in his voice. Dean took a deep breath.

“I remember you telling me how much you enjoy eating burgers, ok? You once told me it makes you happy. I saw how you looked so contend while eating it. I…I was afraid…you’d be really happy…letting go…”

“Dean, you have to stop that.”

“I can’t. Every time I see you smile or being happy about something I expect you to stop and vanish in any instance. I just can’t…”

“Dean, listen to me. I’m afraid too. I am. But if I let this bastard have all my lifetime too…being afraid of every step I take…it already has won. What is it worth living if the only thing I feel is fear? If that is what awaits me in the next decade I’d rather die now. Because that wouldn’t be a life worth living. Do you understand that?”

Dean dipped his head. Castiel knew that he understood.

“By the way…I still think that the entity didn’t think of some simple happiness over a movie or food that it wanted me to see before I die. I still think it wanted me to know something more profound, so that my grief over leaving it behind is even deeper. Something important… so that going away from it hurts even more. That’s what it wants me to suffer through.”

“Maybe.”

“You’ll give me back my burger now?”

Dean was reluctant, but shoved it back to the angel.

“But don’t get lost in liking it, ok?”

“I promise to not enjoy my food too much.” Castiel tried to smile at Dean.

They continued eating in silence. And Castiel was far away from feeling any happiness.

This was exactly why he hadn’t want Dean to know about his Deal. The Empty was already making him suffer, because he knew that Dean was looking out for him at nearly every minute of the day. Living in fear to loose someone again, like he’d lost so many people before.

At least…Castiel thought sadly, that made it really difficult to feel good…knowing that Dean was worrying so much. He somehow had the feeling that in this way he would become very, very old.


End file.
